zzazu:

I dont think we give dogs enough credit for how brave they are for going face-first down the stairs

(via illegalaustralien)

funnytwittertweets:

(via illegalaustralien)

thebootydiaries:

me: *opens camera about to take a selfie*

me: *realises how ugly i am*

me: *closes camera and acts like nothings happened*

straightboyfriend:

(via illegalaustralien)

airsikhness:

fromacomrade:

Me, taking my pants off at the store to bring home two gallons of Arizona tea

(via illegalaustralien)

vegan-and-sara:

(via illegalaustralien)

cyberbullyinc:

i cant stop fucking laughing

(via always-a-fairycat)

anxietyproblem:

(via illegalaustralien)

thebootydiaries:

trying to understand this note I left myself 5 years ago

stanallah:

funnysnake2019:

stanallah:

women write men with so much nuance and care and more dimension than most men in real life will ever have and men write women like they’ve never spoken to a woman in their entire life 

easy on the misandry, shawty.

what on god’s green earth did you just say to me

(via fromatoiletnearyou)

sandersstudies:

titimylove:

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

sandersstudies:

So I kept telling my husband to stop unfolding his clean clothes and leaving them on the floor, and he insisted he wasn’t doing any of that even though I had the evidence.

Just found the cat pulling t-shirts out of his drawer, which had been left slightly ajar. The culprit has escalated from trashcan crimes and is trying to cause upset in my marriage now.

I discovered the ruse a bit faster than the former but she ALSO pulls clothes off the hangers by trying to “climb” them so she can sit on the top closet shelf.

HOMEWRECKER

get her a cat tower, she wants to be tall

She HAS a cat tower it’s the tallest one the store had

And she has LOTS of toys and many snackies she has NO reason to cause mischief except her own bastardly motivation.

(via illegalaustralien)